AKA: Dark Fortress
Lea: Linda Corwin
Marn: Paul Guzzi
With Alex Pirnie, Mark Deshaies, K. Alan Hooder, Scott Ferro, Ryan Piper
Produced: Alex Pirnie, Brett Piper
Written and Directed: Brett Piper
Music: The Astral Warriors
scene is obviously post-apocalyptic as Lea's voice narrates: "Dear
Diary [a problem since we find out later that reading skills have
been lost, nor is there evidence of sound recording equipment],
the war when it came lasted just a day." Footage from some
other Troma films show chaos. "My childhood was a brief catatonic
pause. Then one day I woke up a woman. I'm the daughter of a new
age." The radiation has turned "pets and livestock into
gargantuan horrifying creatures. Now Tromaville has become a dinosaur
Marn or Mark or something, the good guy, hunts
a dog until a large dino-worm attacks, receiving an arrow in the
eye. Meanwhile, three savage men spy on the loincloth-clad Lea
and chase her, calling her "bitch," until a lake monster
eats one of them and Marn and Lea then travel together.
Beachcombing mutants attack a wanderer and
their leader cuts off a hand and eats it. The mutants attack Lea
and Marn and lead her away. A somewhat crazy old man intoning
the Jabberwocky gives Marn a gun: "Beats your swords and
Lea escapes while the mutants watch a dinosaur
fight. The mutant who fails to retrieve her is kicked by the leader
and then eaten by a dino. Lea meets up with a masked guy for a
while and discovers an ABC book which she practically can't read.
The mutant group recaptures Lea and the leader beats the masked
guy nearly to death. Eventually Lea fights this leader and the
dino-worm tears off his left forearm.
Both Marn and Lea individually head towards
a castle, the way being pointed to Marn by the dying masked guy.
Lea is chased into a skull-cave by mutants, but runs out chased
by a flying dragon who eats one of the mutants. Back inside she
sees baby dragons hanging like bats, is cornered at a ledge above
a monster swamp, and is imprisoned. The mutilated leader is back
and droolingly attacks her, but she smashes two bricks against
his head. He forks her over to the mutants who are taunting a
monster in a pit: "The hell with you; you're lizard meat."
One mutant is shot and Marn chases the leader.
When Marn is being strangled, Lea shoots at the leader but misses.
The two chase the bad guy along a ledge until Lea kicks him into
the monster swamp where he is torn apart and eaten. The two survivors
The flying lizard is a dragon/dinosaur combo, but otherwise the
"dinosaur hell" is actually populated with mutant
This is the dullest and most pointless stretch of a Dungeons and
Dragons game it has ever been my misfortune to waste a Saturday