LITTLE Horace was walking home from school, brilliantly decorated by a
pair of new red mittens. A number of boys were snow-balling gleefully in a
field. They hailed him. "Come on, Horace.
We're having a battle."
Horace was sad. "No," he said, "I can't. I've got to go home." At noon
his mother had admonished him. "Now, Horace, you come straight home as soon
as school is out. Do you hear? And don't you get them nice new mittens all
wet, either. Do you hear?" Also his aunt had said: "I declare, Emily, it's a
shame the way you allow that child to ruin his things." She had meant
mittens. To his mother, Horace had dutifully replied: "Yes'm." But he now
loitered in the vicinity of the group of uproarious boys, who were yelling
like hawks as the white balls flew.
Some of them immediately analyzed this extraordinary hesitancy. "Hah!"
they paused to scoff, "afraid of your new mittens, ain't you?" Some smaller
boys, who were not yet so wise in discerning motives, applauded this attack
with unreasonable vehemence. "A-fray-ed of his mit-tens! A-fray-ed of his
mit-tens." They sang these lines to cruel and monotonous music which is as
old perhaps as American childhood and which it is the privilege of the
emancipated adult to completely forget. "A-fray-ed
of his mit-tens!"
Horace cast a tortured glance toward his playmates, and then dropped his
eyes to the snow at his feet. Presently he turned to the trunk of one of the
great maple trees that lined the curb. He made a pretense of closely
examining the rough and virile bark. To his mind, this familiar street of
Whilomville seemed to grow dark in the thick shadow of shame. The trees and
the houses were now palled in purple.
"A-fray-ed of his mit-tens!" The terrible music had in it a meaning from
the moonlit war-drums of chanting cannibals.
At last Horace, with supreme effort, raised his head. "'Tain't them I
care about," he said gruffly. "I've
got to go home. That's all."
Whereupon each boy held his left forefinger as if it were a pencil and
began to sharpen it derisively with his right forefinger. They came closer,
and sang like a trained chorus, "A-fray-ed
of his mittens!"
When he raised his voice to deny the charge it was simply lost in the
screams of the mob. He was alone fronting all the traditions of boyhood held
before him by inexorable representatives. To such a low state had he fallen
that one lad, a mere baby, outflanked him and then struck him in the cheek
with a heavy snow-ball. The act was acclaimed with loud jeers. Horace turned
to dart at his assailant, but there was an immediate demonstration on the
other flank, and he found himself obliged to keep his face toward the
hilarious crew of tormentors. The baby retreated in safety to the rear of
the crowd, where he was received with fulsome compliments upon his daring.
Horace retreated slowly up the walk. He continually tried to make them heed
him, but the only sound was the chant, "A-fray-ed of his mit-tens!" In this
desperate withdrawal the beset and haggard boy suffered more than is the
common lot of man.
Being a boy himself, he did not understand boys at all. He had of course
the dismal conviction that they were going to dog him to his grave. But near
the corner of the field they suddenly seemed to forget all about it. Indeed,
they possessed only the malevolence of so many flitter-headed sparrows. The
interest had swung capriciously to some other matter. In a moment they were
off in the field again, carousing amid the snow. Some authoritative boy had
probably said, "Aw, come on."
As the pursuit ceased, Horace ceased his retreat. He spent some time in
what was evidently an attempt to adjust his self-respect, and then began to
wander furtively down toward the group. He, too, had undergone an important
change. Perhaps his sharp agony was only as durable as the malevolence of
the others. In this boyish life obedience to some unformulated creed of
manners was enforced with capricious, but merciless, rigor. However, they
were, after all, his comrades, his friends.
They did not heed his return. They were engaged in an altercation. It
had evidently been planned that this battle was between Indians and
soldiers. The smaller and weaker boys had been induced to appear as Indians
in the initial skirmish, but they were now very sick of it, and were
reluctantly, but steadfastly, affirming their desire for a change of caste.
The larger boys had all won great distinction, devastating Indians
materially, and they wished the war to go on as planned. They explained
vociferously that it was proper for the soldiers always to thrash the
Indians. The little boys did not pretend to deny the truth of this argument;
they confined themselves to the simple statement that, in that case, they
wished to be soldiers. Each little boy willingly appealed to the others to remain Indians, but as for himself he reiterated his desire to enlist as a soldier. The larger boys were in despair over this dearth of enthusiasm in the small Indians. They alternately wheedled and bullied, but they could not persuade the little boys, who were really suffering dreadful humiliation rather than submit to another onslaught of soldiers. They were
called all the baby names that had the power of stinging deep into their
pride, but they remained firm.
Then a formidable lad, a leader of reputation, one who could whip many
boys that wore long trousers, suddenly blew out his cheeks and shouted,
"Well, all right then. I'll be an Indian myself. Now." The little boys
greeted with cheers this addition to their wearied ranks, and seemed then
content. But matters were not mended in the least, because all of the
personal following of the formidable lad, with the addition of every
outsider, spontaneously forsook the flag and declared themselves Indians.
There were now no soldiers. The Indians had carried everything unanimously.
The formidable lad used his influence, but his influence could not shake the
loyalty of his friends, who refused to fight under any colors but his
colors.
Plainly there was nothing for it but to coerce the little ones. The
formidable lad again became a soldier, and then graciously permitted to join
him all the real fighting strength of the crowd, leaving behind a most
forlorn band of little Indians. Then the soldiers attacked the Indians,
exhorting them to opposition at the same
time.
The Indians at first adopted a policy of hurried surrender, but this had
no success, as none of the surrenders were accepted. They then turned to
flee, bawling out protests. The ferocious soldiers pursued them amid shouts.
The battle widened, developing all manner
of marvelous detail.
Horace had turned toward home several times, but, as a matter of fact,
this scene held him in a spell. It was fascinating beyond anything which the
grown man understands. He had always in the back of his head a sense of
guilt, even a sense of impending punishment for disobedience, but they could
not weigh with the delirium of this snow
battle.
ONE of the raiding soldiers, espying Horace, called out in passing,
"A-fray-ed of his mit-tens!" Horace flinched at this renewal, and the other
lad paused to taunt him again. Horace scooped some snow, molded it into a
ball, and flung it at the other. "Ho," cried the boy, "you're an Indian, are
you? Hey, fellers, here's an Indian that ain't been killed yet." He and
Horace engaged in a duel in which both were in such haste to mold snow-balls
that they had little time for aiming.
Horace once struck his opponent squarely in the chest. "Hey," he
shouted, "you're dead. You can't fight any more, Pete. I killed you. You're
dead."
The other boy flushed red, but he continued frantically to make
ammunition. "You never touched me," he retorted, glowering. "You never
touched me. Where, now?" he added defiantly.
"Where'd you hit me?"
"On the coat! Right on your breast. You can't fight any more. You're
dead."
"You never!"
"I did, too. Hey, fellers, ain't
he dead? I hit 'im square."
"He never!"
Nobody had seen the affair, but some of the boys took sides in absolute
accordance with their friendship for one of the concerned parties. Horace's
opponent went about contending, "He never touched me. He never came near me.
He never came near me."
The formidable leader now came forward and accosted Horace. "What was
you? An Indian? Well, then, you're dead -- that's all. He hit you. I saw
him."
"Me?" shrieked Horace. "He
never came within a mile of me -- "
At that moment he heard his name called in a certain familiar tune of
two notes, with the last note shrill and prolonged. He looked toward the
sidewalk, and saw his mother standing there in her widow's weeds, with
two brown paper parcels under her arm. A silence had fallen upon all the
boys. Horace moved slowly toward his mother. She did not seem to note his
approach; she was gazing austerely off through the naked branches of the
maples where two crimson sunset bars lay
on the deep blue sky.
At a distance of ten paces, Horace made a desperate venture. "Oh, ma,"
he whined, "can't I stay out for a while?"
"No," she answered solemnly, "you come with me." Horace knew that
profile. But he continued to plead, because it was not beyond his mind that
a great show of suffering now might diminish
his suffering later.
He did not dare to look back at his playmates. It was already a public
scandal that he could not stay out as late as other boys, and he could
imagine his standing now that he had been dragged off by his mother in sight
of the whole world. He was a profoundly miserable
human being.
Aunt Martha opened the door for them. Light streamed about her straight
skirt. "Oh," she said, "so you found him on the road, eh? Well, I declare!
It was about time!"
Horace slunk into the kitchen. The stove, spraddling out on its four
iron legs, was gently humming. Aunt Martha had evidently just lighted the
lamp, for she went to it and began to twist
the wick experimentally.
"Now," said the mother, "let's
see them mittens."
Horace's chin sank. The aspiration of the criminal, the passionate
desire for an asylum from retribution, from justice, was aflame in his
heart. "I -- I -- don't -- don't know where they are," he gasped finally as
he passed his hand over his pockets.
"Horace," intoned his mother,
"you are telling me a story!"
"'Tain't a story," he answered, just above his breath. He looked like a
sheep-stealer.
His mother held him by the arm, and began to search his pockets. Almost
at once she was able to bring forth a pair of very wet mittens. "Well, I
declare!" cried Aunt Martha. The two women went close to the lamp, and
minutely examined the mittens, turning them over and over. Afterwards, when
Horace looked up, his mother's sad-lined, homely face was turned toward him.
He burst into tears.
His mother drew a chair near the stove. "Just you sit there now, until I
tell you to git off." He sidled meekly into the chair. His mother and his
aunt went briskly about the business of preparing supper. They did not
display a knowledge of his existence; they carried an effect of oblivion so
far that they even did not speak to each other. Presently, they went into
the dining and living room; Horace could hear the dishes rattling. His Aunt
Martha brought a plate of food, placed it on a chair near him, and went away
without a word.
Horace instantly decided that he would not touch a morsel of the food.
He had often used this ruse in dealing with his mother. He did not know why
it brought her to terms, but certainly it
sometimes did.
The mother looked up when the aunt returned to the other room. "Is he
eatin' his supper?" she asked.
The maiden aunt, fortified in ignorance, gazed with pity and contempt
upon this interest. "Well, now, Emily, how do I know?" she queried. "Was I
goin' to stand over 'im?" Of all the worryin' you do about that child! It's
a shame the way you're bringing up that child."
"Well, he ought to eat something. It won't do fer him to go without
eatin'," the mother retorted weakly.
Aunt Martha, profoundly scorning the policy of concession which these
words meant, uttered a long, contemptuous
sigh.
ALONE in the kitchen, Horace stared with somber eyes at the plate of
food. For a long time he betrayed no sign of yielding. His mood was
adamantine. He was resolved not to sell his vengeance for bread, cold ham,
and a pickle, and yet it must be known that the sight of them affected him
powerfully. The pickle in particular was notable for its seductive charm. He
surveyed it darkly.
But at last, unable to longer endure his state, his attitude in the
presence of the pickle, he put out an inquisitive finger and touched it, and
it was cool and green and plump. Then a full conception of the cruel woe of
his situation swept upon him suddenly, and his eyes filled with tears, which
began to move down his cheeks. He sniffled. His heart was black with hatred.
He painted in his mind scenes of deadly retribution. His mother would be
taught that he was not one to endure persecution meetly, without raising an
arm in his defense. And so his dreams were of a slaughter of feelings, and
near the end of them his mother was pictured as coming, bowed with pain, to
his feet. Weeping, she implored his charity. Would he forgive her? No; his
once tender heart had been turned to stone by her injustice. He could not
forgive her. She must pay the inexorable
penalty.
The first item in this horrible plan was the refusal of the food. This
he knew by experience would work havoc in his mother's heart. And so he
grimly waited.
But suddenly it occurred to him that the first part of his revenge was
in danger of failing. The thought struck him that his mother might not
capitulate in the usual way. According to his recollection, the time was
more than due when she should come in, worried, sadly affectionate, and ask
him if he was ill. It had then been his custom to hint in a resigned voice
that he was the victim of secret disease, but that he preferred to suffer in
silence and alone. If she was obdurate in her anxiety, he always asked her
in a gloomy, low voice to go away and leave him to suffer in silence and
alone in the darkness without food. He had known this manoeuvering to result
even in pie.
But what was the meaning of the long pause and the stillness? Had his
old and valued ruse betrayed him? As the truth sank into his mind, he
supremely loathed life, the world, his mother. Her heart was beating back
the besiegers; he was a defeated child.
He wept for a time before deciding upon the final stroke. He would run
away. In a remote corner of the world he would become some sort of
bloody-handed person driven to a life of crime by the barbarity of his
mother. She should never know his fate. He would torture her for years with
doubts and doubts, and drive her implacably to a repentant grave. Nor would
his Aunt Martha escape. Some day, a century hence, when his mother was dead,
he would write to his Aunt Martha, and point out her part in the blighting
of his life. For one blow against him now
he would, in time, deal back a thousand; aye, ten thousand.
He arose and took his coat and cap. As he moved stealthily toward the
door he cast a glance backward at the pickle. He was tempted to take it, but
he knew if he left the plate inviolate his
mother would feel even worse.
A blue snow was falling. People bowed forward were moving briskly along
the walks. The electric lamps hummed amid showers of flakes. As Horace
emerged from the kitchen, a shrill squall drove the flakes around the corner
of the house. He cowered away from it, and its violence illumined his mind
vaguely in new directions. He deliberated upon a choice of remote corners of
the globe. He found that he had no plans which were definite enough in a
geographical way, but without much loss of time he decided upon California.
He moved briskly as far as his mother's front gate on the road to
California. He was off at last. His success was a trifle dreadful; his
throat choked.
But at the gate he paused. He did not know if his journey to California
would be shorter if he went down Niagara Avenue or off through Hogan Street.
As the storm was very cold and the point was very important, he decided to
withdraw for reflection to the wood-shed. He entered the dark shanty, and
took seat upon the old chopping-block upon which he was supposed to perform
for a few minutes every afternoon when he returned from school. The wind
screamed and shouted at the loose boards, and there was a rift of snow on
the floor to leeward of a crack.
Here the idea of starting for California on such a night departed from
his mind, leaving him ruminating miserably upon his martyrdom. He saw
nothing for it but to sleep all night in the wood-shed and start for
California in the morning bright and early. Thinking of his bed, he kicked
over the floor and found that the innumerable chips were all frozen tightly,
bedded in ice.
Later he viewed with joy some signs of excitement in the house. The
flare of a lamp moved rapidly from window to window. Then the kitchen door
slammed loudly and a shawled figure sped toward the gate. At last he was
making them feel his power. The shivering child's face was lit with
saturnine glee as in the darkness of the wood-shed he gloated over the
evidences of consternation in his home. The shawled figure had been his Aunt
Martha dashing with the alarm to the neighbors.
The cold of the wood-shed was tormenting him. He endured only because of
the terror he was causing. But then it occurred to him that, if they
instituted a search for him, they would probably examine the wood-shed. He
knew that it would not be manful to be caught so soon. He was not positive
now that he was going to remain away forever, but at any rate he was bound
to inflict some more damage before allowing himself to be captured. If he
merely succeeded in making his mother angry, she would thrash him on sight.
He must prolong the time in order to be safe. If he held out properly, he
was sure of a welcome of love, even though
he should drip with crimes.
Evidently the storm had increased, for when he went out it swung him
violently with its rough and merciless strength. Panting, stung,
half-blinded with the driving flakes, he was now a waif, exiled, friendless,
and poor. With a bursting heart, he thought of his home and his mother. To
his forlorn vision they were as far away
as heaven.
HORACE was undergoing changes of feeling so rapidly that he was merely
moved hither and then thither like a kite. He was now aghast at the
merciless ferocity of his mother. It was she who had thrust him into this
wild storm, and she was perfectly indifferent to his fate, perfectly
indifferent. The forlorn wanderer could no longer weep. The strong sobs
caught at his throat, making
his breath come in short, quick snuffles. All in him was conquered save the
enigmatic childish ideal of form, manner. This principle still held out, and
it was the only thing between him and submission. When he surrendered, he
must surrender in a way that deferred to the undefined code. He longed
simply to go to the kitchen and stumble in, but his unfathomable sense of
fitness forbade him.
Presently he found himself at the head of Niagara Avenue, staring
through the snow into the blazing windows of Stickney's butcher shop.
Stickney was the family butcher, not so much because of a superiority to
other Whilomville butchers as because he lived next door and had been an
intimate friend of the father of Horace. Rows of glowing pigs hung head
downward back of the tables, which bore huge pieces of red beef. Clumps of
attenuated turkeys were suspended here and there. Stickney, hale and
smiling, was bantering with a woman in a cloak, who, with a monster basket
on her arm, was dickering for eight cents' worth of something. Horace
watched them through a crusted pane. When the woman came out and passed him,
he went toward the door. He touched the latch with his finger, but withdrew
again suddenly to the sidewalk. Inside Stickney was whistling cheerily and
assorting his knives.
Finally Horace went desperately forward, opened the door, and entered
the shop. His head hung low. Stickney stopped whistling. "Hello, young man,"
he cried, "what brings you here?"
Horace halted, but said nothing. He swung one foot to and fro over the
saw-dust floor.
Stickney had placed his two fat hands palms downward and wide apart on
the table, in the attitude of a butcher facing a customer, but now he
straightened.
"Here," he said, "what's
wrong? What's wrong, kid?"
"Nothin'," answered Horace, huskily. He labored for a moment with
something in his throat, and afterwards added, "O'ny -- I've -- I've run
away, and -- "
"Run away!" shouted Stickney.
"Run away from what? Who?"
"From home," answered Horace. "I don't like it there any more. I -- " He
had arranged an oration to win the sympathy of the butcher; he had prepared
a table setting forth the merits of his case in the most logical fashion,
but it was as if the wind had been knocked out of his mind. "I've run away.
I -- "
Stickney reached an enormous hand over the array of beef, and firmly
grappled the emigrant. Then he swung himself to Horace's side. His face was
stretched with laughter, and he playfully shook his prisoner. "Come -- come
-- come. What dashed nonsense is this? Run away, hey? Run away?" Whereupon
the child's long-tried spirit found vent
in howls.
"Come, come," said Stickney, busily. "Never mind now, never mind. You
just come along with me. It'll be all right. I'll fix it. Never you mind."
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Five minutes later, the butcher, with a great ulster over his apron, was
leading the boy homeward.
At the very threshold, Horace raised his last flag of pride. "No -- no,"
he sobbed. "I don't want to. I don't want to go in there." He braced his
foot against the step, and made a very respectable
resistance.
"Now, Horace," cried the butcher. He thrust open the door with a bang.
"Hello there!" Across the dark kitchen the door to the living-room opened
and Aunt Martha appeared. "You've found
him!" she screamed.
"We've come to make a call," roared the butcher. At the entrance to the
living-room a silence fell upon them all. Upon a couch, Horace saw his
mother lying limp, pale as death, her eyes gleaming with pain. There was an
electric pause before she swung a waxen hand toward Horace. "My child," she
murmured tremulously. Whereupon the sinister person addressed, with a
prolonged wail of grief and joy, ran to her with speed. "Ma -- ma! Ma -- ma!
Oh, ma -- ma!" She was not able to speak in a known tongue as she folded him
in her weak arms.
Aunt Martha turned defiantly upon the butcher because her face betrayed
her. She was crying. She made a gesture half military, half feminine. "Won't
you have a glass of our root-beer, Mr. Stickney? We make it ourselves."