Notes:
Starring Lauren Hutton
Mark: Jim Carrey
Robin: Karen Kopins
Sebastian: Cleavon Little.
Summary: Countess, a vampiric femme fatale, must suck
the blood of three virgin studs in order to retain her youthful
beauty. Mark, a sexually frustrated college boy, catches her
eye. Will Markget into his girlfriend's pants before Countess
gets into his?
Commentary:
Dialogue: Badly written and poorly delivered . . . but
pretty entertaining at 2 am.
Vampires: Traditional or Not? Well, she's female. And
she likes to take her blood from the inner thigh, NOT the neck.
"Button-biting" is also a passion.
Vampires: Physical Appeal: If you find a gap-toothed vamp
attractive, this is your show. She's an undead Jezebel.
Gore Factor: Not gory at all; even the thigh-biting doesn't
yield any blood.
Scariness/Suspense: Not. Not scary, not suspenseful,
and not funny. Most importantly, NOT entertaining.
Target Audience: Even Jim Carrey groupies (the morons)
might want to think twice.