December, 2000 Volume 3, Issue 3 Past Issues About dis/content Editorial Collective Contributors Contact Us Submissions Links Home   Poems by Puerto Rican Women [continued] The Sentimental Education by Olga Nolla (from El Sombrero de Plata) They first told me that I should obey my father and my mother. Then they told me that God existed, and that I should also obey him, that this world was a transit to a better world, that in this world there were a lot of mean people that mistreated girls, that I should uphold my aristocratic position and avoid mingling with all kinds of people that I should behave in public with the grace of a perfect senorita: they taught me how to organize a meal served on a silver plate, to choose the appropriate dress for each occasion to discern between French and cheap imitation china to keep my legs together when I sit down so that no one can see the source of my thighs. The plan was crafted with mathematical precision. I should choose a good man, like my father, who would protect me from the evil of others, a man that would enable me to have at least two maids, get up at eleven, go to Europe twice a year, and have many healthy kids, for whom I should sacrifice. However, something’s wrong. I have followed instructions to a ‘t’: I’m a respectable lady and I belong to groups that mobilize for charity My children are learning English I throw parties which are the envy and admiration in the most prestigious circles of society. But every night when I sit in front of the mirror to apply the required cosmetics I find that my face runs away terrified, I cannot recall how my mouth was and tears dilute the color of my eyes My orgasms, that have always been weak, grow increasingly scarce and walking is so hard I sleep much hardly eat, notice that some of my girlfriends drink much whiskey I only want to be left alone to lay down, and not move another muscle ever. Stay still forever staring at nothingness. After all it’s my right. I followed my instructions to a ‘t’. Previous section     Table of Contents