Land Pillaging

Overview

Pillaging by land has a different structure than pillaging by sea.  Sea pillagers must be cunning, careful, and precise in their actions as to not damage the treasures they will be acquiring; neglecting carefulness can result in the loss of a lot of loot.  Land pillagers have a more carefree, laid back approach: “Take what you can and burn the rest!”

Details

Pillaging has been dated back to the first days of mankind and is evident in the animal kingdom, even to this day.  Pillaging can be fun and a community bonding experience, can lead to management opportunities (its really up to your group), and there is no cap on commissions: what you can grab is yours!  Lets look at a few other reasons to pillage:

• Terrain problems – Are you tired of being stuck in the hills and want to move to an ocean front view or do you just feel like expanding on your existing lot? Well, you can pillage your way to a wonderful property that’s more your style.  (Senior citizens are most vulnerable to this, Good Luck!)
• Population pressures – Jon and Kate plus 8?! If I were Jon, I would have pillaged my neighbors from day one! If pressures in the household are growing too quickly, pillaging is an acceptable solution to not having enough room for your family. Why cram everyone under one roof when you can forcefully make your neighbors leave and give your children what they really want!
• Tradition – through the ages there have been countless acts of pillaging.  Hell, Genghis Khan pillaged so much that there is a 1 in 200 chance of being related to him.  Embrace your ancestry and forcefully take what you want, today!
• Resources – oh no, your milk went bad. Don’t you hate when that happens? You can just go next door to your neighbors and take theirs, but don’t forget to burn what you don’t take!  Its one of the founding principles.

Famous Land Pillages

Mongols

The Mongols were one of the fiercest pillagers in our history.  They loved it so much, they just kept pillaging as they stretched their empire from the eastern coastal regions of the Asian continent all the way into Eastern Europe and current day Middle East.  The most common leader of this empire is Genghis Khan and has been the face of pillaging ever since!

Roman

Throughout history, Romans have been synonymous with the most noticeable pillagers known to man.  Julius Caesar, Augustus, Claudius, Titus, amongst countless others.  The Romans are basically the New York Yankees of pillagers and one can only imagine what they have in their farm system at the moment.  The Roman empire, at one point in time, was so powerful that its dissolve led to another pillaging powerhouse, the Byzantine Empire, that continued to terrorize the lands of the Eurasian continent for years to come! Now, that’s what I call talented.

Ottoman Empire

The Ottoman empire was best well known for bringing down the powerhouse Roman empire after they manage to secure Constantinople and claim that as their capital for centuries.  The Ottoman Empire, in its prime, stretched from north Africa, across central Europe, and reached into western Asia and even several islands in the Atlantic Ocean.

 

Greeks

The Greeks were the dominant force in the dates Before Christ.  There have been great conquests with astounding ancient leaders with one of the most noticeable greek leader was Alexander the Great and was most known for defeating those damn Persians, but were eventually conquered by the Roman Republic in 146 BC, bummer, it was fun while it lasted, kinda like the Supersonics.

French (its not a joke, they were once bad ass)

The French owe it all to Napoleon Bonaparte I.  He is the triple-OG for pillagers.  He forcefully took whatever he wanted and no one could stop him for years.  He led the French empire on a long streak of successful campaigns that would, ultimately, be taken back when he passed away, but Napoleon enjoyed it while he was alive, so don’t hesitate, start pillaging today!

 

 

 

Anti-Rape claim

Pillaging is something that is meant to be fun and bring your community together.  The new age pillaging involves NO RAPING WHAT-SO-EVER.  This is strictly enforced and violators shall be burned in public areas or permanently disfigured due to violations of such graphic and inappropriate nature.  Plus, they must register with the National Sex Offender Registry.  If you meet a nice girl mid-pillage, take her to a nice restaurant for dinner/lunch, if the date went well, you two can burn the restaurant together (don’t forget to tip), if not, leave her inside and burn that mo-fo to the ground; she probably wasn’t that cute anyway.